**While interacting, priority is to understand the other person. Priority is to have your point understood.** Habit 5 of the [[7 Effective Habits]]: Seek First to Understand, then to be Understood. See other people's problems from their prospective. **Don't use active listening techniques in place of _actually listening (aka empathic listening)_.** We listen autobiographically, i.e. we put what we hear through our frame of reference, and it's not how we should listen. When listening, **do not**: - **Evaluate** (pass judgement) - **Probe** (ask questions pertaining to our frame of reference) - **Advise** (based on our frame of reference) - **Interpret** (again based on our frame of reference) Realize when you're using **your** frame of reference while listening, then stop and [[Empathy vs Sympathy|empathize]]. Don't listen only with the intent to reply. Also, when you do reply, be good at it. This is a bit of a "eat your cake and have it too" argument. **** # More ## Source - [[The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People]] ## Related - [["That's Right" - Your Negotiation Goal]]